What Is Toxic Masculinity? Signs, Myths, and Its Effect on Mental Health

The term toxic masculinity has become increasingly common in conversations around gender, identity, and mental health—but what does it really mean?

At its core, toxic masculinity refers to cultural norms and expectations that define "real" manhood in narrow, harmful ways. These norms often discourage emotional expression, promote dominance over others, and equate vulnerability with weakness. While masculinity itself isn’t toxic, the rigid expectations and behaviors associated with toxic masculinity can lead to significant emotional and psychological harm—not only for men but for everyone around them.

Toxic masculinity shows up in both obvious and subtle ways. Some common signs include:

  • Suppressing emotions: Phrases like “man up” or “boys don’t cry” discourage men from expressing sadness, fear, or empathy.

  • Aggression and dominance: Viewing violence or control as the only acceptable way to resolve conflict.

  • Misogyny or homophobia: Using sexist or homophobic language to assert power or superiority.

  • Emotional avoidance: Struggling to form deep, vulnerable relationships due to fear of appearing “weak.”

  • Pressure to conform: Feeling compelled to meet unrealistic standards of toughness, stoicism, or success.

Debunking the Myths

There are many misconceptions surrounding toxic masculinity, and it's important to clear them up:

  • Myth: All masculinity is toxic.
    Truth: Masculinity itself is not inherently harmful. Toxic masculinity refers to harmful behaviors and social norms—not to being a man or expressing masculine traits.

  • Myth: Only men are affected.
    Truth: While men are directly impacted, toxic masculinity affects people of all genders by reinforcing inequality and limiting emotional freedom.

  • Myth: Talking about toxic masculinity is an attack on men.
    Truth: These conversations are about creating healthier, more inclusive ideas of manhood—not blaming individuals.

The Mental Health Impact

Living under the pressure of toxic masculinity can take a serious toll on mental health:

  • Emotional suppression can lead to anxiety, depression, and substance use as men struggle to cope without safe emotional outlets.

  • Relationship struggles often stem from an inability to be vulnerable or to communicate needs in healthy ways.

  • Isolation is common, as men may avoid seeking support for fear of judgment.

  • Anger and frustration can build up over time, sometimes manifesting as aggression or burnout.

Creating Space for Healthier Masculinity

The good news is that healing is possible. Therapy offers a space to unpack harmful messages about masculinity and build a more authentic, emotionally fulfilling life.

At our practice, we support individuals in exploring how gender expectations have shaped their identity, behaviors, and relationships. Together, we work toward self-awareness, emotional resilience, and a broader, healthier understanding of what it means to be a man—or simply, to be human.

Ready to Talk?

If you or someone you love is navigating the pressures of toxic masculinity, you're not alone. Our team of licensed therapists is here to help. If you have questions about our services or how we can support you, reach out to us. Ready to get started?  Book a consultation.

Janie