Understanding Grief: How Therapy Can Help You Navigate Loss

Grief is, at its core, an unavoidable truth of our human existence. It’s the raw acknowledgment of what it means to love, to lose, to have treasured something that now lives as an ache in our hearts. This change could come from the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or any other experience where we feel something irreplaceable has been taken from us. There is something profound in realizing that grief is not isolated to death alone. It’s woven into every experience of loss we encounter. It is often misunderstood, or even feared, but grief is not our enemy.

Our culture tends to compartmentalize grief, to privatize and pathologize it, to render it something to be overcome or dismissed. In the West, we regard grief as something to “get over” as though it’s a temporary malady we should quickly recover from. Yet grief is not a single event but an abiding relationship.

Francis Weller, a prominent psychotherapist and author, writes that grief is the place in our lives where we have been touched by disappointment or sorrow, where our dreams remain unfulfilled, where we’ve had to let go of identities that once defined us.

Grief speaks of the depth to which we have cared, how fully we have opened our hearts. And to allow ourselves to grieve, to truly touch that place of sorrow, is to know ourselves, each other, and life in way that is deep and intimate.

Part of moving through grief and creating a new and meaningful relationship. Therapy can help with that process through:

  1. Have a safe space to acknowledge your loss.

    • Therapy offers a private, non-judgmental environment where you can express the full range of your emotions, whether that’s sadness, anger, confusion, or guilt. Talking openly about your grief with someone who listens and validates your experience can be incredibly healing.

  2. Normalize your grieving process

    • A therapist can help you understand that grief is not a linear process; it has ups and downs, and everyone’s experience is unique. Knowing that it’s okay to feel the way you do, even if it’s confusing or unpredictable

  3. Teaching Coping Skills for Emotional Overwhelm

    • Therapists can provide practical skills, such as mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, and grounding techniques, to help you manage moments of intense emotion. These strategies are simple but effective ways to regain a sense of calm and control when grief feels overwhelming.

  4. Helping You Find a Continuing Bond

    • Therapy can guide you in finding ways to honor and remember what you lost. This could include writing letters or creating rituals. These practices allow you to feel connected to what you lost without feeling pressured to "move on" or forget.

  5. Encouraging Gradual Re-engagement with Life

    • After loss, it’s natural to withdraw. Therapists can help you gently re-engage with activities, relationships, and routines when you’re ready, one small step at a time. This gradual approach makes it easier to find balance, healing, and even moments of joy as you move forward.

Janie